Bourgeois in The Park

Zorro is playground deprived. I admit it. I rarely take him to the parks even though there are parks-a-plenty. Don't worry though, I make sure he gets plenty of outdoor time in our fabulously large backyard with too many toys (thank you Meg!) and other outings.

But why? You ask? Why would Zorro be deprived of the playgrounds? Well, let me remind you that I live in the land of the bourgeois, the place where keeping up with the Jones' is an impossible task because no one even knows who the Jones' are.

Here was a list of the cars from the last time I went to the playground: Mercedes, 2 Lexus, Jag, Honda and a Toyota (that would be me). It's true.

Every mom there was decked out in super cute clothes, hair and full face of make up looking like they were ready for a cocktail party sans dress. Each wedding ring must be at least 3 carats or you can't even "compete" in the Elite OC Mom's Clubs. And you might be forgiven your shoddy car debt if you at least carry a designer handbag and dress he part.

But it's not all this that keeps me away from the parks. I can deal with the looks of disapproval when I arrive in my massive nasty sweatshirts with boogers on them and faded yoga pants with stains and a hole. I can deal with it when I have a face full of zits like a teenager and the extent of my make up is probably the lip gloss i licked off about 2 hours earlier. Not lying, that's me! What bugs me though is the cattiness those mommys don't play nice.

The best part is though, that I am their BEST friend when they are there alone. With no other bourgeois mommy around, boy are they chatty, chatty, chatty. Bleh!



My favorite experience thus far was when it was just me and B-mommy at the park. Our kids were totally playing together so she felt the need to chat with me. I'm nice enough so I play along then her DH calls. He has to work late blah blah blah

the she does it...

She HAD to slip in something to sound totally impressive. To be absolutely amazing and clearly above me.

With a slight glance at me she says, "ok hunny since you're going to be at work so late why don't you order out and buy dinner with the black card tonight"

Uh hello that was NOT natural, totally forced! Just slipping it in there like one would casually mention to use your black card for take out. Yeah, right. Pretty sure he has a debit card that would do the job for take out. Save the black card for a month long European Vacation and purchase of a new car while your there. I mean seriously.

LAME.

Then I bid her goodbye.

PS there are 2 "black cards" the Black Card by Visa and Centurion Card (aka "the Black card") by American Express. Visas is open to the public to apply for and sounds nifty if you don't know the difference has some luxury qualities. The American Express card is by invitation only and very exclusive.


I'm pretty sure we can guess which one they have.