Today was an important day for me. It was the day I revisited the beginning of my journey. It was a day of reflection and most importantly, a day of triumph.
A little over 6 months after I made the decision to change my life around. That moment started with a
HIKE. I didn't know how else to start, "getting out and moving around" was the fist step. Deciding to hike was the next. I'm not sure how I came to the choice I did in all the many, many trails we have in Orange County but this 3 mile hike and 1000 foot gain that was supposed to take us only 2 hours was what I opted for.
The hike was in the middle of the summer. My birthday, August 15th to be exact. It was blazing hot and the land was scorched and dead. And to be honest, that's how I felt inside too. One of the many reasons I needed to make this change.
Each step up the steep hills was painful. I was gasping for air, dizzy and had to stop every few feet. But I wouldn't give up. I didn't even tell D how I felt because I knew he would say to turn around. I had my sights set on the Peak and that's where I was going to go no matter how long it took. And I made it.
That day, that moment when I reached the top without giving up, it ignited a fire that has been burning for over 6 months. I new I needed to take my life back, my health both physical and emotional. I knew it would be hard work but at that moment, I KNEW I was up for it. That I could do it and I would.
I told myself I would come back some time later after I lost weight and hike it again. I never set a date but right around six months and 50 lbs lost I knew this was my time.
April 11, 2010
Walking up the hills I had a pep in my step that hasn't been there is a long time. I had hoped to make to it to the top without having to stop. I did stop though. That first stop for me was almost heartbreaking. But I pushed on and up. I had to stop again at the second large hill. This time, I just realized that it was OK. I accepted it. I got to the last hill, ready to stop and my legs were feeling like lead. I was walking so slow I may as well have been crawling but I would not stop. All of the sudden a second wind pushed me through that moment and I walked with ease up the remaining hill. Then we hit were at the Peak.
Going up I had focused entirely on getting to the top. But going down I enjoyed the journey, looking out and seeing the stunning change in scenery since I was last there. Spring had come upon the hills and the trails were lined in blooms. Wild flowers everywhere, life and greenery. Could it be a metaphor for me as well? Is it the beginning of spring for me?
When we finished, we checked the time. It was a mere 1 1/2 hours to hike there and back. I was in awe of myself at this moment, because you see, even though I had to stop a few times and it killed me to stop, I made it there and back less than HALF the time it took last time. This hike took up over 4 hours to complete the first time.
What a triumphant moment for me! I made it to the top, a new person! And as I came back down I shed more of those unwanted thoughts and beliefs in myself that I CAN'T and I am NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
BECAUSE I CAN!
I AM!
AND I JUST PROVED IT!
A few before and afters for you:
Feel free to click on them and enlarge them!
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